Saaremaa, Estonia

I try to do something for me every year on my birthday. This is not that unusual, but for me, that typically means a precarious situation in the middle of nowhere. In 2019, this meant a small farm converted to guest house on the island of Saaremaa a few hours from Tallinn, Estonia.

The island appeared as one of those must see locations on a random tourist site for the country. It is likely important for me to mention that I ended up in Estonia because it was listed as one of the cheaper options when searching the “fly anywhere” options on Skyscanner. I then had to legitimize several weeks in the country without knowing anything about it in advance and thus the random travel sites, which informed me there were some meteor craters peppered about the island. I saw them, but they don’t feature in this story and were outdone a bit by the images Hollywood gave me of meteorites careening into the planet.

This former farm looked very nice, so I booked a stay for my birthday without much of a second thought. It was glorious. I had a small studio room to myself complete with kitchenette, couch, and one of the most comfortable beds of my life under the window. With all of this, there wasn’t room to walk in the space, so I had to manage a shuffle and sitting rotations to get to the open patches. No one else was staying there so I had the luscious grounds to myself. Most of the games they had about would not have worked very well for a solo traveler, but I entertained myself walking barefoot in ankle deep grass, finding nooks with dart boards and barrels to sit on. There were even beach volleyball courts, which seemed to be quite the past time for the country.

The one problem I noticed was the lack of food. There was nothing for leagues in any direction from what I could tell. On top of that, my hosts didn’t speak much English, and I only knew a handful of Estonian words. The elderly woman who checked me in was very kind, and we managed to converse with a few hand gestures. She realized it was my birthday and gave me a Cadbury choclate bar bigger than my face with a smile so genuine I still think of it. It was only a chocolate bar, but I can’t express how much something can mean to one as alone as I was at that point in my life. The best dark chocolate I have had. This brought on the topic of dinner. There was food eight kilometers away, and she would lone me her bike. She was truly the most amazing woman. It was a tad small, but I knew it would suit, and the encroaching clouds didn’t give me much time to think. Fairy tales had taught me well of storm clouds and evil portents.

I took those 8 km as fast as I could only getting caught by a few drops by the time I had made it to the place she was talking about. It was the equivalent of a gas station. I could have subsisted on chips and other snacks, but I was going to be here for at least another night, and I wanted a restaurant for my birthday. I asked the clerk for the nearest restoran (Estonian for restaurant), and he pointed down the road and said it was five more kilometers.

The rain was a steady drizzle, so I resolved to go before it got worse. It got worse. The rain came down so hard that the last 5 km were longer than first eight, soaking me as much as jumping in a lake, but I was determined and prepared for the adventure. I made it to a small village which had a grocery store and restaurant. I felt so bad walking in, drenched and dripping under the disapproving glare of the teenager working, but I persevered and proceeded to I gorge myself on pancakes and sausage—the birthday dinner I didn’t know I needed. Next, I got some groceries for the next day and began the trip back.

I had spent about an hour in town, and the weather was clearing. All was quiet apart from the ratcheting sound of the bike chain. It was bliss. The stars were out between the clouds. I couldn’t stop smiling at the sky. It was near enough to a straight shot, and without the storm, I got to see the countryside, which had no driveways, turn-offs, or houses. Fields gone milky in the moonlight, a forest in the distance, not a car to be seen. The road the only sign of industry’s passing. Being alone can be depressing, but on occasion, it is the closest I feel to connected. The night melded with the land and accompanied me back to the my own slice of comfort better for the feeling of earning it on the 26 km trek. I finished Inheritance by Christopher Paolini, laying in bed beneath the window and reasserted my desire to write. That was the best birthday.

Thank you, Saaremaa.